Ironman Malaysia - the mental race, and my "mental chips theory"

The title of this post has a double meaning; I'm going to attempt to write about some of the mental and emotional aspects of the prep and race. But also, Ironman Malaysia was a 'mental' race, in terms of how tough it was and the number of people who succumbed to the conditions on the day. I believe that some of the secret of my success on the day is directly related to how I managed those mentally and hopefully this will help others to approach hot humid races in a similar way and flourish, not wilt! I've also added a little about my "mental chips' theory; something that I now feel is critical to having something extra when the going gets tough.

Pre race mental preparation

I have already written a bit about how my preparation for this race was different. I read back over the last blog, and a few key points really stood out to me.
The first was about lowering my expectations. I used to look at successful athletes (amateur and pro) and I always got the impression that goal setting ( the good old 'SMART' principles) and planning the ways to achieve those goals were really important to keep moving forward in sport, and I suppose in other aspects of your life as well. But I now really believe that in triathlon, particularly Ironman, and especially if you want longevity in the sport this kind of approach may not be the best. As was the case with South Africa, it can set you up for disappointment too easily. Imagine training for 4-6 months ( or longer) for a race, paying the entry fee, flights, accommodation. Racing hard, physically and mentally for 10-12 hours, but then being DISAPPOINTED with the result, because you didn't achieve a goal you set at the start? I never want to be in that position!
But the tricky thing if you are competitive, is how to get fired up to train, and race when you know you can 'just finish' without all that preparation?
I discovered a few ways that I could get a happy medium going into this race. Let's look at a few of my real goals and objectives.

Finish the race.

Happy after losing 1.5 litres of sweat on a run!

This was absolutely objective number one. Although initially this was a hard goal to get my head around, as the race approached, it became clear that this would be a big enough challenge in itself, due to the tough bike course, and monsoonal heat. (I noticed that I mentioned a  'flat' bike course in the last blog; it was anything but flat!) For Ironman France in 2011, I was so nervous about the bike course (with its 2000m plus of climbing) that this fear was my motivation to get the riding done in the prep. For Malaysia, it was the fear of the heat. I suspected that this would be as much a mental thing on race day, as it was physical, but I knew that physically if I could be as lean as possible, this would help, and if I could start to embrace discomfort, especially when hot, this would also help. To this end, in the final 4 weeks, I did not drink alcohol at all. I didn't restrict my diet, but I was conscious about eating really healthy food, and only snacked when I really was hungry. I got to my goal race weight 2 weeks out; perfect. With the heat aspect, I used little tricks, like I stopped wearing the sweat bands I usually have on my wrist during runs. Instead of wiping sweat on runs, or in yoga, I just let it run down my face, and accepted this annoyance, as this would happen in the race.


Swim goal.
I have improved so much in my swim, that I was really hoping for a good result in the swim.

Qualify for Hawaii.
This sounds off the wall, because I had been talking about just wanting to finish Malaysia from the day I entered it. But let's face it, the name of this blog highlights what my overriding goal has been since Oct 2011, when I finished my first Hawaii. The main goal for Malaysia was certainly not Hawaii qualification, but when the athlete list was published, of COURSE I checked who my competitors were! I knew that there were no absolute stand outs, and if I could have a reasonable race, I might be in with a chance. That is a BIG mental carrot when you are digging deep late in the race.

During the race

Many people write great race reports, and might mention some of their thoughts during the race, but more often, it is the events, or challenges that occurred, or race strategies which dominate these reports. I thought it would be different to share some of the thoughts or images that I feel were important during my race in Malaysia.

IRONWAR

Allen and Scott in their IRON WAR

This one is a cracker! When I was out on the course, and I knew I was closing on the Swiss athlete who I eventually beat, I conjured up the image of Dave Scott and Mark Allen in their "Ironwar"race of 1989 at Kona (video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOVGVMiwPSA).

 I figured if they could battle it out as they did, for literally hours, I would be able to catch my opponent, and if she were to come with me, I'd race her, just like my heroes raced back then! When I came to make the pass on her, I tried to drop her, just as decisively as Allen dropped Scott in the latter stages of the Ironwar.

Wanting the tough conditions
I WANTED Malaysia to hurt! I had just had my first DNF in South Africa, and going to Malaysia was a way to decide if i was really willing to put myself through what an Ironman takes. And I didn't want it to be a nice, easy day! So every time I felt the oppressive heat, I was glad. It wasn't going to be easy, or fast, but that was good. When the sun went in, briefly and I felt cooler I was disappointed! That wasn't what I'd signed up for! I fully intend to take this attitude to Hawaii, by the way. I HATE the wind, but I will be hoping for big swell, strong wind and searing heat in October. Because if you feel like that, nothing will phase you on race day.

Giving myself some love
I am my own harshest critic. I find it really difficult to actually give myself credit, no matter how much I've achieved. In the final lap of the run in Malaysia, I saw a hand-written sign "YOUR MUM WOULD BE PROUD OF YOU". I can remember thinking "yes she would, and you should be proud of yourself, for having got through this, and for what you have achieved". It is amazing how much lighter your legs feel when you give yourself that kind of boost in the tough stages of a race.

My "mental chips" theory 

The "mental chip" theory refers to the pros and cons of giving every training session all you've got. Now the exercise physiology experts will be able to discuss all of the different energy systems we train, and why we need to train at different intensities to optimise our progression. I understand all these principles, but I believe there is another really important aspect to dramatically changing the effort you put into your sessions. I call it “the mental chip theory”. 

A bank of mental chips

Imagine that when it comes to race day, you have a bank of mental chips (like casino chips!) to draw on. You have built them up, through consistent training, seeing improvements, getting through tough sessions.

Now if you have one of those training days, say where you have to ride into headwind for hours and hours. Or maybe you get half way through an interval session and have to really dig deep to push to the end of it.  Or even one of those days where you've had loads of stress at work, and don’t even feel like training, yet you still drag yourself out onto the bike and do the session. I’m sure everyone has many examples of all of those kinds of days. I know I have over the years, and 90% of the time, I told myself it was THOSE mentally tough sessions which would stand me in good stead for my races.

To some degree, I still believe that philosophy. There are some sessions I believe that you might call ‘banker’ sessions, which may really test your limits, physically and especially mentally and once ticked off give you that positive reinforcement that you will be ready to race. But I now also believe that you can overdo these kinds of sessions and turn up on race day overcooked mentally.

I believe this contributed to my DNF in  Ironman South Africa.  I had completed what I considered to be an ideal build up to the race. Back then, my definition of ideal was to do every single session on my program. To take the longest option with every distance or time, to do the maximum number of reps in every interval set. When I felt like I had nothing to give, physically or mentally, I embraced that, and thought that would only make me stronger on race day. What actually happened was that I stood on the start line, after 6 months of preparation, and thought “at least this will all be over in 10 or 11 hours”. What happened then was that I went out on the bike in that race, as if I was racing 40km, not a hilly 180km. I totally fell apart, and was forced to withdraw, dehydrated, ending up in the medical tent.

It took me a long time to work out what had really happened out there. And I realised, with time and hindsight that it wasn’t so much what happened in the race, but rather in the build-up that caused the problems. I had spent every mental chip I had in training. I had nothing left by race day, but my way of dealing with that was to push harder than I ever could in an ironman, with devastating consequences.

In my prep for Malaysia, I vowed to skip any sessions I didn't feel like doing (these were very few and far between in the end) and when I felt enough was enough, I didn't force myself to spend every mental chip I had in training. By race day, my bank of chips was overflowing! I was jumping out of my skin and raring to go. I had vowed to enjoy the race and had no attachment to a result. But I am a racer, so when it came down to it, and I knew the win was on the line, I actually dug deeper than I ever have in a race. And I was able to, because I hadn't left it all on the road in training.

Drawing from the bottom of the mental chip bank

Spending the mental chips when it matters

Now the mental chip theory is a bit of a mantra for me. I don’t decide before a session, but instead I gauge during the effort, just how much I want to give. Let’s face it; if we are motivated to perform, and improve, we are rarely going to go too easy on ourselves! Since Malaysia, I have raced in some small local events. It’s interesting that I have been able to push really hard in those races, and yet in the past, during Ironman builds, I've never really wanted to. Of course racing more often means is that there are less mental chips for the next few training sessions. But isn't that what racing should be like?

Going into this year’s Hawaii build, I intend to follow the same philosophy. Hawaii is just as tough as Malaysia; more so on a windy day. So I will do what I need to do in training so I get to race day in the best shape I can. But I’ll make sure that my bank of mental chips is loaded up, ready for when I need to start drawing on them out on the Queen K highway.