This made me laugh! I was reconnecting with an old vet school friend, and she asked me if I was aiming for Kona in IM Malaysia in 6 weeks. I thought rather than a lengthy explanation, I'd send her the link to my blog. Re-reading it was well worthwhile for me, at this point in the preparation for the race. You see, I have ticked a lot of the boxes I mentioned in that blog, but I've also conveniently forgotten a few aspects! I will go into a bit more detail below, but essentially I have:
- Found the fun in training by swapping training for racing - TICK
- Riding hills - BIG TICK!!
- Been more relaxed and found more balance - TICK (until maybe the last couple of weeks)
- Not been so goal-driven - Hmmm - at times
- Not built up expectations around my performance in the race - Again, yes until the past couple of weeks.
So how have I nailed some of these aspects and not others?
Finding my love of racing again
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| With the Old Geelong crew at the Brighton 9km handicap |
I have raced more in this prep than I have for years. Most of the races I have done have been running races, with Old Geelong Collegians, in the APSOC league. These are brilliant. They are usually handicaps, or relays, and because you are racing for a team, I always find you push just that bit harder than if you were just racing for yourself. The problem is, they are on Saturday afternoons, which means after a long ride, my legs are always fatigued for them. This is why I stopped doing them for a few years, during various Ironman/ marathon preps.
But I have produced some surprisingly fast times despite tired legs, and each time that happens, it has boosted my confidence. Other races I have done, include a Sri Chinmoy half marathon (instead of a sunday long run - again, on tired legs, but went really well) and Pete and I stumbled upon a Veterans handicap cycling road race in the Grampians, after a wedding, which was SO much fun, and gave us an impromptu 55km time trial!! Plus it cured our hangovers!
LESSON ONE - It appears that when I perform better than I expect, my confidence is boosted. In South Africa, I expected too much. I was always on to a loser.
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| The start of my epic 185km down the Hume |
Oh yes. There is no doubt, this is where I am really happy on a bike. It's such a shame so many Ironman courses are set up for fast bike times (ie. flat!). Even though I had a shocker in South Africa, I loved the new, hilly course. But Malaysia is flat, so I do have to get my head around that. But instead of driving myself insane on Beach Rd (which after 9 years of riding it, is becoming very tedious), for our first big ride of the prep, we caught a train north, and I rode down the Hume Hwy from Benalla; 185km! I would never be as flippant as to say this was easy mentally, 185km is not. But it was miles better, thanks to the "big adventure" aspect than my last few 180km rides had been, and it's one of those days I will remember as being epic for ever! I still wish I wasn't driven so much by emotions with my training. I know that Pete can say "I have 180km to ride, I'll just do it". But I am who I am, and it's those emotions that can also be a massive positive for me, by making me so passionate about so many areas of my life.
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| A special moment on Mt Buffalo I will always cherish |
The other thing I did on the bike (and also included a lot of running) was a "big week" in Bright. Usually we do this in the summer, December or January, during our Ironman preps. It seemed a bit of a risk going up to the mountains in the middle of the coldest winter for 8 years, but I took my mountain bike, in case it was too icy for the road bike, and I was pretty willing to adapt the training as necessary. The main goal was just to get a lot of hours in, both cycling and running. I am SO GLAD I did it! I had some amazing rides, and because I dressed well, if anything I was too warm some days. I managed to ride 400km and run 50km that week, with 27 hours total. But more importantly, I just absolutely fell in love with the training. Riding to the top of Mt Buffalo, to the snow on a beautiful sunny day, actually moved me to tears. It was a wonderful, spiritual ride. That is what I have been trying to find again through this prep. When I started the sport, it was those moments that captivated me, and I had lost them in the drive to "tick all the boxes", or "leave no stone unturned". The process had lost its joy.
LESSON TWO - I need to find ways to have these experiences. They are what make you love the process, and to keep getting on the bike, or lacing up your shoes, and carrying on.
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| With Bec at the snow |
We don't find this bit too difficult! We love our food and wine, but the balance is in not feeling guilty for those indulgences because I may feel like they have impacted on my training. We have reduced the number of nights out as the training has increased, and the poor wine cellar isn't being opened much at the moment! But there are other aspects of life that I have embraced more, and have "gone with the flow" regarding training as a result. One example was to go up to Mt Hotham for a day (yes, a day!) with friends Al and Bec McIntosh. this was a huge 36hrs or so, and happened to be the day before my OD (2.5hr) run. In the past, there is no way I would have done that. But I completely lowered my expectation of the run. It wasn't fun, or pretty, but I got through it, and doing the trip had been so worth it!
I've also thrown myself into work, and if I've come home exhausted after a day on my feet teaching, I've given myself the leeway to take the night off training.
And finally, in June, I completed a 30 day yoga challenge, which not only was really rewarding, but improved all my niggles and tight muscles from all the riding and running!
LESSON THREE - I used to believe sacrifice was necessary if you really want to achieve your potential. I now think if you don't keep some balance, you may achieve, but at what cost? and for how long?
On the whole, this is a positive blog, because on the whole that is how the prep for this race has been. One of the many people who sent lovely messages after my DNF in S Africa said "remember the process of getting to the race, all the great training you did and enjoy that". I'm afraid for the S Africa prep, there wasn't a great deal of that enjoyment. Because I was so fixed on the end goal, I stopped looking around and enjoying the process. There is no way that will be the case for this race. Whatever happens in 6 weeks, I have so many great memories from the past few months, I will be able to reflect on that.
But I've had my moments. They have occurred for a couple of reasons. Mainly they have been when I have felt demotivated (which is a typical reaction when I am tired or getting sick). I then start to question why I am training. Even whether I want to do the race. In the past this has been easily answered by "because you want to have the best result possible in this race". Tricky to answer it, when the whole point of the race is just to finish. However "just" never means "just' in Ironman! The conditions in Malaysia, with the heat and humidity could be such that I will need to be the fittest and leanest I can possibly be, just to finish the race. That has kept me going in those tough times, but not always.
Then there is the other end of the scale - the blossoming confidence that starts to emerge as I get fitter, see my times coming down, and start to think "I wonder how I could REALLY do?"
DANGER!!!
This then leads to the relentless drive, that what I am doing is not enough, I need to push harder, train longer, see more improvements, feel guilty about that glass of wine. Luckily, when this has started to happen (which it has in the past few weeks), I have been able to look at the training I've done, and remind myself that it will be more than enough to get through the race, and hopefully finish fairly strong, with a smile on my face, as they hang my 6th finishers medal around my neck.
Sean, my coach has continued to be a massive pillar of support. He has a program that works (I am proof) if you want to achieve your full potential. But he knows exactly what my plans are for this race, and what I have been trying to do. He has adapted our program completely to allow for that, and I am very grateful. I have also avoided some of the group sessions because I have not wanted to feel pressure (imposed by myself) to keep up in training. He LOVES having his athletes all turning up to sessions. he is a very "hands on" coach. And I hate to feel I'm letting him down in that respect. But again, he gets why I do it, and he's respected that.
My overriding goal in this whole experience is to want to keep doing the sport long term. So far I think I'm achieving that, but we'll know for sure in 6 weeks time.
